All tagged life
If we want to develop a healthier relationship with growth, we need to see as clearly as possible what growth is and what it isn't. We need our instinctive assumptions to shift, and we need some illustrations to help us understand why in a more relatable way.
In what's becoming somewhat of an annual tradition of mine, I recently wrote a blog out of my post-birthday reflections, marking another signpost on this continuous journey of living with intention in the tension.
Read more of my thoughts on golf and life, as I make the turn and head toward the back nine.
In rereading last year’s post on courage, I was shocked by how well I articulated it, with how unclear I lived it.
While initially “words of the year” can be thought of as a resolution-replacement, it seems more honest to think about them as a reinforcing reminder, as a place to find power, strength, solace, and comfort in the moments of need throughout the year ahead.
What is purpose? What is meaning? What makes life meaningful?
We need a reason for being, or at the very least a distraction to keep us going. Distractions are easier to come by and usually feel better in the moment. Yet, the world doesn’t let us forget the overarching questions: What are you doing with your life? And, why?
This past month I turned 30, and with crossing over into a new decade I wanted to capture some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I took some time over the month that followed to reflect on what I’ve found to be true and resonant from my experiences, and I thought I would share them with you.
So, here are 35 lessons from the first 30 years of my life.
Have you ever listened to the way you speak, your self-talk? What are those words you keep saying that fly under your radar? If you truly heard yourself, would you change some of the language? Does what you say directly impact what you do or how you behave?
I want to consider these questions with you as we unpack an experience I find all too common.
The 2020's brought far more than we bargained for. What started with the anticipation of a new decade, that excitement turned to worry and dread as COVID entered center-stage, suddenly flipping our collective world upside down.
Yet, here we are, seemingly on the other side of the global pandemic, and what has truly changed?
Courage is complex. It's captivating. It’s far more than bravery, much more complex than taking risks. It entails facing fears, but it also includes the heart behind those actions and the greater why that motivates the decision. And it's especially needed, now and always.
Why am I writing on courage? Because it's the word I need for 2022.
After a mediocre front nine, I needed something to turn this day around, and #10 promised just that. More than anything, I wanted to perform at the level I was capable of. After calculating the yardage and other factors, I stepped up to the ball with a six-iron in hand.
The expectation was a shot that left me 15-20 ft. for eagle. The stage was set.
What is it about golf and leadership and life? Why are they all so intertwined? It's a game of focus more than fortitude … pace more than exertion. A game with wave-like emotions rising and falling like the ebb and flow of the tide. A game where each part of your mind, body, and soul are stretched in their own way.
It's a game of endless learning … and so too is life.
Similar to trees, discipline is a structure that produces much fruit. This fruit can be categorically summed up in one word: freedom. We all know and acknowledge that with discipline comes growth, but rarely do we recognize that with it also comes freedom - full freedom in performance and authentic expression.
Freedom is the fruit that discipline produces.
Discipline never happens by chance. We must choose it.
Not only must we choose discipline, we must put in the work needed to validate and affirm that choice. Discipline is something that requires both effort and intention. The intention—the reason why— and the effort —the gritting of our teeth and the clenching of the fists as we brace ourselves for the hard work that awaits.
Emotions are not a great foundation for living, but discipline is. Following the path of our feelings is not a recipe for success, despite what is often sold to us through endless marketing and sales tactics.
Discipline is the necessary foundation for a life well-lived, and we would all benefit from building our lives on the sturdy foundation it creates.
Discipline solidified its place in my life during the years I competed as a professional golfer. Since then, I’ve begun to realize how crucial discipline is for living an honorable life.
In order to get where we want to go, in order to become who we want to be, in order to live as we ought to live, we must step back onto the court and commit to the beautiful practice of discipline.
What is it that we like about “sameness?” Isn’t funny that we as adults tend to be much more attracted to sameness than kids? For some reason, the older we grow, the more group-ish we become. What comes from our group-ish tendencies? Does that produce positive results? And ultimately, why does it even matter?
We’ve got our work cut out for us in this one…
We need each other. We need to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Living in family and being a part of community are the primary ways we accomplish this innate desire within our hearts.
When change comes, we desperately need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to high-five, a body to hug, an ear to talk to, a person to redirect our attention toward, a perspective from a different view. The experience of change is drastically different when in community versus isolation.
Change can be scary, uncomfortable, intimidating, chaotic, unscripted, sporadic, and eventful to say the least. In the same breath, it can be exhilarating, exciting, growing, and enlightening. Change is neutral, a “choose your own adventure” of sorts.
What we do with it is the result that can be either good or bad. So, how are you going to use it?
Change is more consciously present in our world than ever before (in my lifetime at least). The question is: how do we embrace change?
Regardless of how much change we are going through, we can always remain grounded by practicing our daily rhythms or our cornerstone habits that keep our lives in place.
Change isn’t comfortable. It feels like a foreign land. It feels like we are never able to get our bearings straight. It feels like rain when wanting sunshine, heat when wanting a respite, sugar when wanting substance. It’s an uncomfortable place...
But what is it really?
As humans we crave order, balance, wholeness, stability, predictability — symmetry. Asymmetries are correlated with chaos, with feelings of imbalance, imperfection, brokenness, or unnecessary complexities.
Symmetries help bring a sense of calm, order, and peace to our lives that promotes human flourishing by design. But is life really symmetrical? Is balance even possible?
