All tagged perspective
If we want to develop a healthier relationship with growth, we need to see as clearly as possible what growth is and what it isn't. We need our instinctive assumptions to shift, and we need some illustrations to help us understand why in a more relatable way.
In what's becoming somewhat of an annual tradition of mine, I recently wrote a blog out of my post-birthday reflections, marking another signpost on this continuous journey of living with intention in the tension.
Read more of my thoughts on golf and life, as I make the turn and head toward the back nine.
It really doesn't take a lot to show up, but it has the potential to give more than you could fathom.
Because by showing up, fully engaged with what today has to bring, we also begin to do a better job of paying attention. And in paying attention, we become better neighbors to those we brush shoulders with during the mundanity of our lives.
In rereading last year’s post on courage, I was shocked by how well I articulated it, with how unclear I lived it.
While initially “words of the year” can be thought of as a resolution-replacement, it seems more honest to think about them as a reinforcing reminder, as a place to find power, strength, solace, and comfort in the moments of need throughout the year ahead.
What is purpose? What is meaning? What makes life meaningful?
We need a reason for being, or at the very least a distraction to keep us going. Distractions are easier to come by and usually feel better in the moment. Yet, the world doesn’t let us forget the overarching questions: What are you doing with your life? And, why?
This past month I turned 30, and with crossing over into a new decade I wanted to capture some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I took some time over the month that followed to reflect on what I’ve found to be true and resonant from my experiences, and I thought I would share them with you.
So, here are 35 lessons from the first 30 years of my life.
Have you ever listened to the way you speak, your self-talk? What are those words you keep saying that fly under your radar? If you truly heard yourself, would you change some of the language? Does what you say directly impact what you do or how you behave?
I want to consider these questions with you as we unpack an experience I find all too common.
The 2020's brought far more than we bargained for. What started with the anticipation of a new decade, that excitement turned to worry and dread as COVID entered center-stage, suddenly flipping our collective world upside down.
Yet, here we are, seemingly on the other side of the global pandemic, and what has truly changed?
Engaging means we loosen our grip on our current embeddedness (or entrenchment), in order to make space for the other perspective at the table. It means we are able to open our minds to truly listen, not focusing on what parts of our own position we need to defend. It means we make every effort to try and see the world through the eyes of the other, and see the deeper reality beneath what words the other is saying.
After a mediocre front nine, I needed something to turn this day around, and #10 promised just that. More than anything, I wanted to perform at the level I was capable of. After calculating the yardage and other factors, I stepped up to the ball with a six-iron in hand.
The expectation was a shot that left me 15-20 ft. for eagle. The stage was set.
Our country was built on this idea and ideal of independence, but the part we forget to acknowledge is that independence was only possible for our country through interdependence of the individuals within it. We aren’t created to be independent but rather interdependent.
We are relational beings, and to pursue independence is an exercise in missing the point, setting ourselves up for failure.
Looking back on the past 2-3 years of my life, I see two different narratives that compete throughout the weeks and months along the way.
The first narrative is one of willfulness.
The second narrative is one of willingness.
What is it that we like about “sameness?” Isn’t funny that we as adults tend to be much more attracted to sameness than kids? For some reason, the older we grow, the more group-ish we become. What comes from our group-ish tendencies? Does that produce positive results? And ultimately, why does it even matter?
We’ve got our work cut out for us in this one…
Noticing is an art.
In our modern world, especially in western society, we are very skilled at noticing what’s wrong, noticing what’s missing, noticing what we don’t like about a person or situation. But finding the good? Noticing what’s positive? Discovering the silver lining? Yeah, that’s something we’re quite weak in.
Change can be scary, uncomfortable, intimidating, chaotic, unscripted, sporadic, and eventful to say the least. In the same breath, it can be exhilarating, exciting, growing, and enlightening. Change is neutral, a “choose your own adventure” of sorts.
What we do with it is the result that can be either good or bad. So, how are you going to use it?
Change is an unsettling force in our lives. A storm that threatens to dislodge us from our foundation. Change is all around us and is being felt by humanity more than I have ever experienced in my lifetime.
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to show and extend more grace to yourself (and others) especially in tumultuous times of change.
As humans we crave order, balance, wholeness, stability, predictability — symmetry. Asymmetries are correlated with chaos, with feelings of imbalance, imperfection, brokenness, or unnecessary complexities.
Symmetries help bring a sense of calm, order, and peace to our lives that promotes human flourishing by design. But is life really symmetrical? Is balance even possible?
What feels good about making a judgment? It makes us feel protected. It makes us feel in the right. It makes us feel better-than. It makes us more secure in our own beliefs. The question I’ve been pondering is: What would our society be like if we made less judgments and more observations? Before we get there, let’s try to unpack our propensity toward judgment...
The three core needs of every human being are: to be 1) seen, 2) heard, and 3) connected.
When you strip away these three things from any human, you begin to push them back into the survival-mode of existence, and many times without even knowing it (or being conscious of it). When a need isn’t even recognized, there is no way for that need to be met.
The Sabbath still matters, and it always will. We aren’t super-men/women, we’re merely human.
God knew we would forever remain human, as long as we’re here on this earth, and because of that He gave us an example to follow ever since the beginning of time.
