Discipline: I Know You're Cringing
This is a blog-series on the idea of discipline. Discipline solidified its place in my life during the years I competed as a professional golfer. Since then, I’ve begun to realize how crucial discipline is for living an honorable life, for living a life worthy of the calling to which we've been called. Because of my growing belief in this necessity, I created an 8-week online course titled: Never Settle | Developing Discipline. I’d be honored to have you join this journey alongside me as we each strive to instill discipline as a part of our being.
Trust me, I know you were cringing inside when you read the first word of the title. Discipline. It’s enough to make anyone wince or grimace.
There is something instinctual within us that just wants to avoid discipline and the idea of it at all costs. I’m even impressed you’ve made it this far!
What is the origin of our disdain towards this word, this idea, this practice, this lifestyle? Why are we so averse to it in our daily lives and in society at large?
As I think on it, my hunch is we need to return to our childhood and the formative years of our life.
Our First Encounter
As young humans, we have this natural instinct, this inkling that whatever an older person tells us (especially if that older person is our parent), we have a higher calling to do… the exact opposite. It’s quite natural for us to not follow directions, to not listen to what we are told to do, to not fall in line with the orders given to us. Some call this rebellion, some call this stubbornness, some call this sin. Whatever your descriptor, the experience remains the same.
What may or may not have followed for you (but definitely followed for me) was a correction—a disciplining—informing us what was right and what was wrong about our actions. Regardless of the type of discipline, it was entirely felt and experienced as negative by our young human brains and bodies. It informed us that we should strive to do all we could to avoid getting caught the next time. As we continued growing older, our disdain for discipline grows with us, becoming entrenched in our subconscious beyond what we ever realized.
Unbeknownst to us, we reach adulthood (or least the end of adolescence; it’s hard to imagine myself or my peers at 18 being suited to take on the responsibilities of most adults) with an inward predisposition against the idea of discipline. (Even if you never had negative experiences with discipline, there is still a large part of you that will naturally, or instinctively, oppose forms of discipline, whether they are prescribed for you or by you.) This opposition to discipline is more felt than understood. It’s known but not resolved. It's present but remains lurking in the shadows.
Fans But Not Teammates
I think a part of the aversion to discipline we all face is the idea that we are all fans of discipline but don’t want to put in the work to be teammates with it. Being a fan is cheap, being a teammate costs.
We see this in conversations with friends or family on this very subject. Inevitably, someone will mention a new discipline they are trying to instill and the rest of us involved the conversation will all heartily agree in discipline’s worth and value, and then we will all sheepishly admit that we could use more discipline in our own lives. We say: “that’s great! Yeah I definitely need to be more disciplined in getting to bed at a good time too. I’ll have to start working on that again.” (*Stays up till midnight again binging on Netflix, feels ashamed, goes to bed mad at self, falls back into the thought-pattern that discipline is too hard to accomplish and just isn’t in the cards for me—aka: a self-limiting belief.)
If we are intellectually honest, I think every human would admit they are a fan of discipline. It’s hard not to see the advantages discipline brings. Whether it be in what we eat, what we say, what we do, how we live, how we work, how we interact with others—discipline positively affects every single area of our lives (and yes that includes our ability to have fun and be spontaneous!).
Part of the reason there are so many fans of discipline instead of teammates is because of the high drop-out rate and associated shame that follows. When you join the basketball team in high-school (or fill-in-the-blank sport or program), it is highly frowned upon to decide to quit a few weeks later. Everyone will have an opinion of why you quit, including yourself, and it is usually an unfavorable one. When we go through the process of becoming teammates with discipline and end up failing, quitting, or backsliding, we have an added incentive not to begin again.
That is the real danger—further entrenching in our aversion to joining the team with discipline. We see how hard it is, how much commitment it takes, how much effort is required to be a teammate with discipline and we begin to believe it’s just not worth it. We begin to believe that we’re better off being fans. We begin to believe that maybe discipline just isn’t in the cards for us like it is for others.
We begin to settle.
Is That All?
Is settling really what you want? Is settling really what you feel called to? Or better yet, resigned to? Would you rather take the easier path of settling than the harder path of discipline? Do you think that path leads you to where you want to go?
Is settling honorable? Is settling practical? Is settling more realistic? Is settling your childhood dream? Is settling the best path for supporting your family and those around you? Is settling all that’s left?
You know, just as well as I know, that settling isn’t the answer and has never been.
Settling isn’t a calling, it’s a copout.
There is more, and that more is accessible by one road and one road only: discipline.
In order to get where we want to go, in order to become who we want to be, in order to live as we ought to live, we must step back onto the court and commit to teaming up, once again, with the beautiful practice of discipline.
Better Together
It’s okay that you cringed when you read this title, but I want you to realize you don’t have to. Hopefully in better understanding why we tend to become sheepish around the idea of discipline we can learn to change these patterns and beliefs, entering into the arena once again of teammates instead of merely fans. Hopefully we can each find the motivation to say no to settling and say yes to discipline.
Truly life is better with discipline. It has been for me and I am confident it will be for you too.
But know, the road is long and the road is hard to get to a place where discipline is integrated into all aspects of your life. It’s a journey that I don’t recommend traveling alone, which is why I want to share with you an opportunity to team up with me in this process through my new course: NEVER SETTLE | Developing Discipline. After the 8 weeks we will journey together, discipline will no longer feel unattainable or impractical. You will grow in your understanding of what discipline is, how it is formed, what we can do to grow stronger in it, and how to solidify it into our very being.
These are 8 weeks that could completely change the course of your life and the trajectory of what’s to come.
Are you ready to move from fan to teammate and begin the journey, once again?
